HE SAID... SHE SAID...

He said:

When I see her, I just want to be with her and give her everything she needs...

Why can't she see that I am afraid of messing up what we are struggling to build?

She's beautiful, she's charming, she's witty...

She would be the perfect woman for any guy...ok not just any guy...

For me...

But when she looks at me, I wonder what she's thinking about...

Those deep, soulful eyes boring into my face like she's got the keys to the deepest recesses of my soul...

She doesnt see through me, she sees me... She gets me...

That is freaky...

I just wish there was a way to make her understand...

She said:

I look at him, sitting there, lost in his own world...

And I wonder, how is it that he's so calm...

Can he not understand that I crave for him so much it hurts?

Its like he has put up some kind of barrier that shields him...

Is he afraid of letting go?

Is he cautious of allowing himself to even care about me?

I do not want to seem insecure but he keeps on sending mixed signals...

His mouth says one thing yet his body says another...

Can I continue like this, being so close to him yet so far?

I need to make him understand that I'm here for him, that I want this...

But how?

He said:

Wow, she's braver than I thought...

She's really strong, managing to keep her feelings for me at bay...

Could it be mere pretense? or could it be real?

Is it possible that she doesn't like me in that way?

Wow, that thought has never crossed my mind...

How does that make me feel? it makes me feel weird in a bad way.

Ego tripping? maybe... probably.

I want her, that's certain...

But I'm not sure I want her the way she wants me to want her...

Pathetic? Yeah I thought so too...

She said:

Oh! Can you just ask me out already?

Like really, how hard can this be?

You already know how much I like you...

And I think you like me too.

So what in God's holy name is keeping you?

Ok so they say a girl's supposed to be patient...

But how patient is patient?

Am I supposed to wait forever?

Make up your damn mind and let me know what the deal is...

Ok! deep breath... let it out slowly...

Whew!!! is finding a man this hard?

Or is there more to this?

I do not know how much longer I can wait...

He said:

So she's withdrawing, she hasn't said so but I can sense it...

The calls have reduced, the long chats, the way she relates...

A new guy perhaps? Nah, she likes me too much to do that...

Or does she?

The other day we were hanging out, I kinda overheard her talking with one of 'the girls'...

'Bout her being in the market and all... and 'bout her needing something new...

Jealous? Maybe...

i'll just let her be for a while, I'm sure she will get back to being herself with me...

It's just probably 'one of em days'...

*shrugs*

She said:

I met someone yesterday,

He's rily cute and sweet and he makes me laugh...

We've been hanging out quite a lot and I like that...

Kinda helps in taking my mind off that 'painfully slow dude'...

*rolling my eyes*

I've come to the conclusion that he really doesn't like me...

Too bad 'cos this guy seems really nice.

Rebound? not really afterall, I never got to making it official with HIM...

*hiss*

So it can not be considered as a rebound.

I still think about him tho, but not as much as before...

*shrug*

He said:

I'ts official, she's seeing that dude...

What could she possibly and humanly see in him? really?

I just can not understand females...

i thought she liked me... you know...

We had a thing! I wasn't imagining it...

I'm pretty sure it wasn't all in my head...

She led me on... the b*!@T

That's what she did...

I still have a chance tho...

I think its time to turn my A game on...

Poor guy hasn't got a chance... lame ass dude,

I almost feel sorry for him...

She said:

Hahahaha!!! I feel sorry for HIM...

Walking round like a wounded puppy...

You freaking had your chance, you blew it...

What did you expect? I was gonna sit and wait for you?

I did wait, I did show you how much I cared about you...

But no, you just could not man up and do the right thing...

*sigh*

Now I don't see you that way anymore...

You're like .. my brother...

That would be incest

*ewwww*

You're a really good friend now... my person...

*hug*

I love you...

He said:

That hurt!... Friend zone? Brother?

So freaking condescending...

how did I ever get here?

Listening to her raving and ranting 'bout this new guy...

Telling me how good he is....

*shudders*

I wanna kill him, and her too...

All I was tryna do was be a gentleman... dats not in vogue anymore?

Then why in God's name didn't I get the bloody memo?

Sweet Jesus!!!

*scoffs*

Now, I'm the one she's seeking advice from, on how to please her man...

I'm supposed to offer my shoulder when she's hurting? really?

This sucks!!!

I really botched it this time...

But Imma make sure it doesn't happen again...

*walks off*



In reply to: Putting out the first time- What Izzy thinks

Let's say I am alone in a club or something.

And this fine, young man is just opposite me.

I know I have never met him before but then he smiles at me.

It's been a boring day and I'm only here to have fun.

So I figured why not return the smile?....

The typical scene

As expected, we share drinks, talk and even dance.

He finds me interesting, I find him interesting too..

And the times we aren't dancing, we are laughing.

And then for some reason I realised I have stayed out longer than I should.

Or maybe there's just nothing to return to.

Or just maybe I am a heartbroken young woman in search of someone to hold.

Or let's even assume that I just like him....

And then he suggests we go home together, and I agree.

And I go home with him and 'put out'...

Its our first time, not just our first time out together, but our first time meeting each other.

That's even worse than the scene Marie tried to paint.

If we are to be real with ourselves, there is no way this makes me cheap or should make me feel guilty.

Yes I said it!

The only person allowed to look at this as a bad thing is a person who is practising complete abstinence from sex. You are soo not allowed to judge me if you have sex with your partner in any form.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why the girl is the one who is looked upon as cheap? Did she sleep with herself? I think its because we have made it so. I think its high time we stopped putting women at the receiving end of anything sexual. Let's (especially Africans) stop treating sex like its a novelty for the man and a burden for the woman to bear. Let's understand that they both enjoy the experience and so one party should not be made to suffer any form of shame or guilt. Afterall, we both have to strip when we have sex or at least expose them organs!

Again let me say that whether a girl waits for ten years before she lets a guy sleep with her or she lets him before they even meet, what determines how he looks at you is YOU!! Haven't you ever seen a situation where a girl plays hard for so long and the minute she allows the guy, he changes immediately and becomes something else?

What do men really want? A girl who has desires but is forced to push them in just because she doesn't want you to look down on her? Or a girl who is just true to her feelings and knows what she wants?

I advocate for a society where anybody whether man or woman is allowed to 'express' without the risk of being made to feel guilty or uncomfortable with his/her body; Where people see sex as a mutually pleasurable and symbiotic act and not some form of conquest for a man; Where how long it takes you to 'put out' does not determine the success of your relationship....

#ThatIsAll

N.B This was borne out of a playful and mischievious mind. lol.. Ion have as much passion for the topic as I express in this piece.. lol.... ;)

U can read Izzy's blog on http://www.izzy-randomstuffs.blogspot.com/ or follow @Izzyleecious on twitter

Dueces!!!

PUTTING OUT THE FIRST TIME...

Oh My God!!!

I did it again...

I let him eat my "cookies" before even letting him know me. 

What is always wrong with me?

What would he think of me now?

I guess I have really spoilt my chances...

*Sigh...Sigh... and deeper Sigh...*

Does this sound familiar?

I believe almost every female has passed through this before...

You know, the guy you meet, who you think he's nice and perfect and all that...

The guy who does everything right... the guy you have envisioned as being "the one"

And more importantly, the guy whom you really, really, like...

He asks you out on a date and you agree,

Its like magic to you, the conversation is flowing,

He's everything you pictured and a little more...

The date is over, your mind is made up...

He kisses you and the next thing;

You're both wrapped up in sheets, tangled bodies, peaking emotions...

All this comes to an explosive stop...

THE MORNING AFTER!!!

You awaken, your mind is racing and the next thing is:

Yep, that's you, curled up in that little corner of your mind,

You glance at your surroundings, taking everything in...

No, you were not drunk, you were very sane, you actually wanted this to happen...

But then, it really isn't about you at this point...

It is about him... you already know where you want to be with him;

You already know how you want this to end... as a matter of fact, this is just the beginning for you.

BUT...

What does he want? was this just a simple night of pleasure? or was it the start of something new?

Does he like you? or does he just see you as a means of release?

sex on the first date: a miss or a hit?

Different people have had different things to say on this, 

Can anything meaningful come out of it?

How does this affect your respect level?

Has it spoilt what you both have been building?

What next after this?

The thoughts and questions can be really overwhelming...

In actual fact though, does it really matter?

You meet a guy, you have amazing chemistry, its not just sexual,

You're both comfortable around each other, you can both be silly and act stupid,

You can even fart in front of him and he burps in your presence!!!

You are free to tell him about your escapades and he is telling you about the girls he has had things to do with...

So you had sex... does this really change all that?

Does it have to be so complicated? I mean, it had been building up for quite a while...

Yes, I know that we females go to bed with all sorts of emotional attachments and all,

So that kinda makes it difficult for us to see clearly after this has happened...

But whatever happened to... talking bout it perhaps?

I dunno but it just seems logical that for a person you claim to tell almost everything to, this shouldn't be an exception.

Honesty... No? Yes?

At least, you get to know where you stand, where you both stand...

And it takes you a step further in moving on...

Does it have to be so dramatic?

Don't you think that instead of shying away from it, you should both lay your cards on the table...

Let him know that this is what you want, and he says if he can handle it or not...

If you both want the same thing, then you both end up happy...
And if not... then another one bites the dust.
So its not always that easy, hell, it is never that easy...
But then again, what's done is done right?
Should sex on the first date be the 'deal breaker'?