ON A LIGHTER NOTE...

In the recent view of all that has been happening in town;

I have had to literally fight my thoughts and fingers...

I'm fighting my thoughts because I do not want to join the teeming millions who are so quick to dish out their opinions and are comfortable just sitting pretty on their butts and never take the initiative to actually "DO" something bout 'em.

I'm fighting my fingers because once I get all these crazy thoughts going on in my head, my fingers start itching to write...

So its literally been a battle for me to keep my thoughts to myself and not bore anyone with the rumblimgs of a disturbed mind.

Either ways, its a battle that I'v lost considering the fact that I'm here writing this.
I'v been at home for literally a week now; bored stiff;
My daily schedule since the strike started has been: Sleep, Wake up, Eat, Take a bath, Tweet, Tweet, Tweet, Eat, Sleep, Tweet,
Chat, Watch the news, Sleep. (ok you get the picture).
The country has been nullified by the nation wide strike and mass protests.

It is admirable that we can embrace this sense of oneness and unity. As Nigerians, we have come a really long way.

It is something that we all should be proud of; we have not reached where we wanna be but we are definitely not where we started from.

The fact that we have lost some people in this struggle for survival ( Bless their souls) and we were still not deterred;
The crowd getting bigger with each passing day is a really great feat.

For those of you who have no idea about what I'm talking about; lemme explain to you.

On the First of January, 2012, the President of Nigeria made an announcement that the subsidy on fuel had been removed.

This led to the increase in the price of fuel and currently leaves it as 141 Naira per litre of fuel.
(160 and above in some parts).

Protests ignited in different parts of the country.

OccupyNigeria was birthed.

What started as a protest of simple civilians quickly intergrated into a unifying theme.

As for the governmental aspect, I'm not going to embarass myself with my lack of knowledge.

Point is, its heroic what is going on in my country today;

We just continue to pray.

PEACE... LOVE... AND ALL GOOD THINGS...

Marie.

MY SOILED INNOCENCE...

I notice Her as She walks in, She's beautiful, She's smart, She's confident...

She's all I ever dream of being, She's what I have always envisioned myself as...

Sadly, She's what I'll never become.

I am 7 years old, I should still be a child; yet I have matured in ways you would never imagine.

She takes a seat beside me and I can't help but to reach out to her;

I begin to raise my hand when She turns to look at me...

Her smile turns cold when She sees me...

I have encountered this reaction many times before...

I should be used to it by now;

They smile naturally when they see a child but gradually, the smile turns cold in accordance to what they are feeling...

Then they look at me more closely and They begin to see how old I really am.

Sometimes, its amusing to watch you know;

Sometimes, it gives me a little joy to know that I can guess what they are thinking; the phases their thought processes pass through.

It starts with a genuine smile, then turns to shock, sometimes revulsion, then anger and eventually...

pity.

I stop my arm mid way and bow my head, my eyes fill up with tears unshed...

I can see myself through Her eyes.

I know She's reading me like a book;

She's not fooled by my pretty pink dress that mummy bought for me...

Neither is she believing the story of how I got to the hospital with a broken arm.

She gently strokes my head, my hair has been shaved off...

Revealing old scars and new ones going through the process of healing.

I look up at her and She smiles at me.

I smile back, taking comfort in the fact that I have qualified for her attention even in my very pitiable state.

I am 7 years old,

I'm in the hospital with a broken arm...

Daddy says that if I am asked, I should tell them I fell from the stairs...

That if I say otherwise, I will be taken away to a house filled with strangers.

So I cannot say how I was beaten and dragged all the way down the stairs for staining Daddy's suit.

Yes, I fell down the stairs; but it wasn't accidental;

The force of Daddy's palm across my face sent me tumbling down...

My mystery lady keeps on scrutinizing me...

At this point, I know that She can see the bruises around my neck and arms...

Much more apparent are the bruises on my face...

And the tell tale healing wounds at the back of my shaved head.

I am 7 years old...

Yet I have seen what most people haven't seen...

I am 7 years old...

Yet my thoughts are those of a 30 year old...

I am 7 years old...

Yet I have seen and experienced adulthood...

I am 7 years old..

A child... yet an adult...

I am 7 years old...

And I have been raped.



MY FATE...

Once again, I have found myself in the midst of something I promised myself was never gonna happen again.

I have found myself in familiar settings and the nostalgia begins to set in.

I believe that whatever happens today will mark the end of my sanctity, as I know it.

A proposal was made to me today; one that has got me thinking far beyond what my mind can comprehend.

I have been made a proposal such that I know what I should do but at the same time; I wanna delve into what the contents of the proposal holds for me.

Morality tells me that I shouldn't even waste my time pondering on what I should tell them;

Tells me that I should look them dead in the eye and say " NO"

That I should feel very insulted and get on my high horse, with whatever is left of my dignity and leave;

While the other part of me, the free willed part of me; the adventurous side tells me that this is something I have always fantasized about.

I have been given an opportunity to make my dreams come true;

I have been invited to the carnal recesses of reality that excites me beyond comprehension.

I shudder to think that I am even taking time to contemplate it.

What does that make me? I believe there is a name for people like me?

People who get excited at the wrongest things. Things that shake the very foundations of morality.

Once again, I am left a willing captive;

Watching the unending battle of wills between good and evil;

Without a mind of my own;

My fate is sealed; I will obey whoever comes out of this fight, a victor.

May the best man win...