A MORNING INSPIRATION.

Yaaaaaawwwwnnnnnn. I toss and turn to the other side; my eyes are still closed yet my brain is trying to function.

I hear the sounds of generators being turned on in the distance, a bell is being rung yonder calling people to Church;

 A mega phone speaks loudly to the darkness, some Arabic lyrics which mean the Mosque is ready and running.

Somewhere in the darkness, you can make out the rumblings of car engines being warmed up.

This is a typical 5 am in my part of the world, a typical morning somewhere in Surulere, Lagos, Nigeria.

In my own house, the shuffling of feet signify my sisters are up already, the light switch pops and the darkness is flooded with brightness.

Still, I bury my head under the pillow, knowing that I'm fully awake yet refusing to ackowledge the fact.

So my morning starts, I hear neighbours in the horizons beating crying children who have refused to take their baths, I hear young bachelors nodding their heads to their favorite Tupac number,

I hear the women raising their voices in morning fellowship, and I hear members of the taxi park across taking numbers for the days job.

The world is moving and I'm still here, on my bed

Trying to figure out the reason why I have got to be awake.

Somewhere in the deepest recesses of my mind, a voice reminds me;

I am still on my bed because, when I am ready, someone is going to turn on the generator for me...

I am still on my bed because when I am ready, there's water running from the tap...

I am still on my bed because I do not have to wake up and rush to the well to fetch water...

I am still on my bed because I have an empty bathroom waiting for me...

I am still on my bed because I do not have to wait till my neighbour finishes her bath to use the bathroom...

I am still on my bed because when I eventually do get up and do all these things, there is a car waiting to take me to work.

So when I wake up every 5 am to the same old routine, the same thought creeps into my mind.

I am not spoilt, I am blessed and I am fortunate.

I am privileged enough to know that I most probably did not deserve these luxuries,

I was considered worthy enough to be given.

So every 5 am when the world wakes up to do their business, I go about doing mine;

Which is taking time to appreciate the ONE who has made all this possible.

Just the simple fact that HE has decided to honour me by waking me up daily to enjoy the gifts HE has given;

Is inspiration enough for me.

BE THANKFUL!!!

MY LIFE, MY PAIN, MY GLORY...

I wake, I feed, I bleed I am human...

I have been given this thing called LIFE...

Did I ask for it? No...

Did I know who decided to place it on me? No...

Do I even know how I got  it? No...

Do I have a say in what goes on in it? Yes...

So I have been given life; its confusing, its frustrating, and its chaotic...

But its mine...

Yes, I have been given life; by extension, I have been given a chance to play God...

I have been given this... intangible thing...I have been given this power... I have been given this life...

Its beautiful, it makes me giddy, its exciting...

I have been given life...And I have been given freedom...

However, freedom is in iself, bondage...

I am constrained, I am restrained... Yet, I am free.

I am forced to look past myself to others, I have been placed in a tight situation such that ones folly affects me deeply...

I have been intertwined with other people and its such a deep connection that it becomes burdensome when I cannot live my life the way I want it to be...

That is my life... I have received it...

Along with this life, I have received a heavy weight...

Its called CONSCIENCE...

Its like a rash in the most uncomfortable of places...

Its a shadow that lurks...presenting itself when you least wanna hear from it...

Conscience has a face... Conscience is me...

Conscience is a mean b***h; she never hides her feelings and is not one to sugarcoat or feel empty remorse...

Conscience is... as real as reality goes.

Conscience is plain,she's a predator...

Listen to her and you'll find peace; ignore her and she'll prick you to death...Literally.

Conscience... is... my... pain...

A combination of both my life and conscience make up my glory...

My glory is satisfaction, My glory is a thumbs up for a job well done...

My glory is looking back on my pain and my life and giving myself a pat on the back...

My glory is contentment...

My glory is my pain and my pain is my life...

They are intertwined and interwoven... they are not to be separated...

They make up the trinity that is called...

ME!!!

SEX!!! and sexuality.

I want to have MAD, CRAZY, mind blowing, earth shattering, orgasmic, heaven-sending sex...

I kinda prefer girl-on-girl action...

Two random statements that state the difference between sex and sexuality to me.

I'm not tryna make this into one gender, women liberation type thing, I just wanna talk about sex...

Why sex? you might ask, why NOT sex? I ask in return.

Imagine you standing in the midst of a crowd, you and your friend, talking and chatting, loud music, people minding their various businesses and just when you are about to say either of the two above statements, it goes quiet and BAM!!!

Everyone hears and they begin throwing daggers in guise of looks your way...

Some are even downright disgusted, while some are gradually creating a distance.

The men give you appraising looks and almost bring out their checkbooks to write an agreed sum depending on how long the night is gonna be...

I'm not attacking the men here, I wanna address the women.

Could it be that they have NEVER HAD SEX?

Or worse, they've never had an ORGASM???

Shhhhhhh!!! thats not even real.. Women don't orgasm; thats why we prefer 'FOREPLAY'.

If you still find yourself living in that address, WAKE UP!!! Smell the coffee!!! Walk around and see that the world has actually moved on while you're still wrapped up in your self-made cocoon.

Gone are the days when women would lie on their backs and the men do the jobs while you make all the fake noises and keep praying in your crazy minds "Dear God, let him come NOW!!!"

Statistics have shown that more than half of women actually go through life having sex and yet never EXPERIENCING it.

Oh yeah! It is an experience indeed. What? you've never had sex that drained you off your bodily fluids? Or you lay back for five minutes cos you're sure your feet won't hold you?

Or you scream till you're hoarse and get to biting the pillow?

Am I wild? or Freaky?

Have you even had a hickey? No, I'm not talking rough sex or bondage and whips. If you swing that way, all well and good.

Sex is an experience, regardless if you are gay or straight..

As a matter of fact, its a tad selfish. Everyone has a goal- SATISFACTION.

The world has changed, you see your friend looking healthy and happy and glowing and you wonder...

Sex has a lot to do with it. Don't believe me? Google it... Go on, type 'the benefits of sex'.

All I'm trying to say is that we need to move away from the notion that women are not supposed to enjoy sex; we need to wash our minds and change the mindset that sex is overrated.

We need to understand the fact that sex is a big deal and its not only for procreation.

Its been widely said that every guy wants a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed... I would give that statement more thought if I were you.

NO, this post wasn't brought about by crazy, orgasmic and mind-blowing sex...

Ladies... BE BOLD>>>

TIME

The essence of time is unknown

it is hidden from puppets, who, being  subject to their masters ministrations,

undecidedly follow through.

The essence of time is unknown!

The futility of time is unknown!

The cycle of time is unknown!

But the importance of time is known, you think.

Then comes the question,

why time? a thing unseen, yet so very powerful,

like the breath of the wind, gentle, yet, persuasive,

it compels us to do its bidding.

like a brief but lingering kiss, it moves us.

why time? an immaterial thing that leaves us panting like dogs awaiting a meal.

unfortunately, as futile as it seems,

the race is already won before it began,

the story ends before it even begins.

Essence, is but in its true self, Essence

Time, is but in its true self, Time

and puppets, are in their true selves, puppets

Who, subject to their maters ministrations,

undecidedly follow through.

A NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE.

Most times when I think about my life, I do not see it as it is;
I see my life as I want it to be: almost perfect, almost fairy-tale like and definitely happy.
Then I am harshly brought back to reality.
The beautiful thing about my life is the fact that I do not need it to be perfect or or even fanciful...
I do not need my life to be a function of what other people define as good or glamorous...
All I need my life to be is one that is suitable and comfortable for me.

Perfection, though we strive for it is a pipe dream, something we have made up in our minds and something we spend our whole lives chasing after.
My life, the way I see it, should encompass everything I want it to be; if I choose to live my life as a hermit, I should be permitted to do so; just as long as it makes me happy.

Happines is relative, I believe. Trying to define it just waters down the whole essence. Happiness should be just the way it is: inanimate, abstract and glorious. It is said that most people go through life without encountering true happiness.

I try my hardest to look t the bright side of things. sometimes it is utterly impossible to do so and other times, that is all I am. People always try to attach happines to events and places and things....
I think happiness is created by a willful choice.

I have lived my life and I am still living my life with the sole aim of creating memories that would last. Not everything can be happy or pleasing, but I sure as hell would try my hardest to make most of them the way I want.

I do not believe that hapiness lies in the future, nor do I believe it is found in the past. It lies in whatever use you make of the present. I see my future as bright and colourful... full of light, smiles and sounds of joy;
I see my future with lovely music and the smell of success wafting around my senses; I see my future enconmpassed with the gentle embrace of love and joy; I see my future built on all the wonderful things my mind can ever dare to conceive.

However, I do not see my future ten years or twenty years from now; Who said that the future needs to be something unknown? Whoever said that the future needs to be so far away?

Yes, I know that it is something I cannot touch or see immediately, but I will bloody well start living that future that I imagine for myself... I can as well start enjoying the wonderful things that the future seems to keep away from my grasps.

My future is not a dream and its not far away, my future is NOW.