FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!

I wake up sometimes and all I wanna do is run around naked, with my hair scattered, screaming at the top of my lungs " I AM FREEEEEE"!!!!.

But I can't because in reality, I am not. and the sad thing is the chains that so intricately bind me are woven so deep in the fabric of my life. Certainly, I cannot do the above because I would walk around with a huge chain on my neck bearing the inscription "CERTIFIED INSANE PERSON; A THREAT TO SOCIETY AND SELF."

Mine is a confused state of bondage because I have been given the blessing or curse, (however you wanna look at it), called "FREEWILL". It seems rather contradictory, really, when you look at it, I am free, I am not in prison neither am I a slave; I do not have to answer to certain things and i do not have to succumb to ideals if I have no care for them. However, those are not the ties that bind; I am talking about those inanimate things that more or less, dictate to us, how we should live our lives. and oh yes, you are part of us...

Lets take a look shall we? 

You wake up in the morning, say around 5:30 a.m, because you've got work to go to; you could easily stay at home and not work, you might add, but then you will lose your job and you can't afford to lose your job because that very job helps pay the bills.

Talking bout the bills, the rent is unpaid, electricity has been cut off, water is a no-show, estate management fee, plumbing needs to be fixed, gas needs to be refilled, phone needs to be recharged... should I go on?

Next, you decide to go to work, not anticipating the annoying people you will definitely see; those who have made it their life's duty to cause you pain and make your life an eternal hell. Somehow, you manage to take all that in and the next set of challenges brushes you off your feet, you've gotta face family issues, friendship issues, relationship issues and of course, the draining exercise of battling with your conscience...

To do or not to do?, Should I or should I not?, Is this good? No way, its bad, but it's not really bad, Can I do it? What will be the outcome if i do? But I'm not going all the way so it can't be that bad... And you go ahead and do it anyways. Next thing is you find yourself in a church and the preacher is preaching on salvation and the very topic you just finished acting out in real life. You immediately get a mental picture of yourself in flames and the monster in red with a pitchfork, opening his mouth and breathing fire, and you cower and break out in cold sweat.....

You eventually go home at the end of the day, tired and bent outta shape and you recap all the events of the day, heave a heavy sigh and fall asleep only to wake up the next day and continue with the same routine.... sometimes, lesser issues and other days mega- issues.

All in all, it is plain to see that this thing called "Freewill" is the slave master and we are the slaves and that is the fate we have all been resigned to. *sigh*

Marie.